Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbet's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in a studio in Carmarthen with Little Lloyd Langford.

Uh, how are you feeling, Lloyd? / Good, yeah. / How are you feeling to be in Carmarthen __ __ __ __ you're in my hometown / I enjoyed it. I ... I went / enjoyed / on air __ eight seconds / look around before I got here. / Oh? Around the town? / I saw the, um, oak tree where, uh, Merlin was born. / The old oak tree of Carmarthen, that fabled oak tree ... / when __ oak tree falls, so will Carmarthen / オークの木が倒れるとき、カーマーゼンも倒れる / I think they have moved it / もうそこにはないはずだぞ / It was a round about when I was growing up here. / 俺がガキのころからラウンドアバウトだったぞ / It was __ __, surrounded / a little ... a little fense / frankly, had a j__t / decided / that fense would not have, uh ... would not have stopped it / tell you that / I leaned a lot of things / what did you learn? / was born / roundabout / yeah / just, uh ... / Chinese restaurant / I'm not sure / that's been there for a while. __ __ __ __ could __ __ an update __ __ I'm saying that I've got no idea / restaurant there or not / that / what / they say / programmes / anyway, back to what you've learned about Carmarthen / you / I saw __ __ / Huh, the town __ __ other supermarkets are available in the town. But it is a famous one. ... Uh, anyway, more ... more like this coming up on this show today / more fascinating facts. We've also ... as you may ... if you are a regular listner, you may know that, a few weeks ago, Lloyd and I / talked / breakfast-themed show / all songs / breakfast / today is the day / Saturday, the 11th of April / Dr. / kicking us off. We've all got ... look at this / we've got / email about it here, from A__ from D__ ... says / podcast / get me through / working day / Little Lloyd Langford talk about __ themed music show in a few weeks' time / mentioned / theme / be / cooked breakfast. This song / immediately / every time I mention 'toast'. The song is Toast / by / song / I can tell you, we have got that / on the playlist for you and from D__ / also, / Cornflake Girl / The JAM, Strange Town / milk shake / Rolling Stones, Brown Sugar / all happening / is the number / if you've got __ breakfast-themed song / you think / able to scrumble / oh, god. Maybe / should be, in some way, breakfast-related / if you __ __ DJ / play a / breakfast-themed song, we can __ __ / Oh, __, blimey. You're boiling. Oh, god. ... You're frying up this all / I'm on fire / You are. You're on fire. / around __ toasting.

I've decided to give you Tea Bag Quiz. / Oh yes. / Last week, I launched inaugural Tea Bag Quiz ... / Right. / ... with Eggsy, who scored a whopping 2 out of, uh, 15 potential points / if you could do any better / just after / twelve today / Tea Bag Quiz / very popular feature / can I get a handicap / because, uh, I don't drink tea. / Oh, heck. Don't you? / actually, I __ __ peppermint tea. / Huh. There you go. / went / usually? / Yeah. / There you go. ... And / S__ / you are, A: / less handicapped / you / want / opposite. you need a handicap / I / tea plantation and had some tea there. / You have / Oh my word / When in Rome ... / You are practically an expert. / uh ... aren't you? So, uh, / after twelve. So, uh ... / before that, it's __ light-hearted g__ through the newspapers / what have you found / Lloyd Langford / light-hearted in __ Daily M__ at the moment / you that / every page / oh, god, oh, heck. I can't talk about that. Oh, heck, / can't do that / Kim Jong-Un learn to drive ... / ... Kim Jong ... Is it / never / I was gonna say / a few languages / braggy / I've got a bit of French, / a bit of Spanish / a bit of English / you know. So, is it Kim __ __ / Kim __ __ in French, Kim __ __in Spanish ... Kim __ __ in Welsh. So, whenever I see it, I get a bit ... uh ... sort of, uh, sort of dyslexic on it / what did you just say? Kim __ ... / __ / is it __? Is it? / Yeah. / in Korean? / North ... in North, yeah. / obviously / oh yeah / differently / __ in South Korea / Yeah. Go on. ... You're obsessed with him. / Well, this is a good story. He learnt / we are both a little / obsessed / a few years ago / basically / Kim __ __ jokes / get in / Kim __ __ / turn out to be. / Anyway, his son / I know who he is / __ friend / __ family / It says here / hey, hang on / I've just turned / exactly the same page / different paper ... same story / same story / He learnt to drive at the age of three / is that what you're looking at? / what / about it / at the age of nine / says that as well, actually / maybe for __ next week / what do you think? / Tea Bag Quiz / what do you think? ... We __ __ Tea Bag Quiz today / we can knock that off / fact about his dad / I think we / before / yeah / first time he ever played golf / not / feeling / some of / might be propaganda? / No. ... / our great leader learned to drive at three / Why would they lie? Take it for its face value. / play golf, he shot 11 holes-in-one / this is / this is what I mean / kind of thing. So, / learned to drive at the age of / first / shot __ 11 holes-in-one / his dad / see? That sounds, uh ... you know, I / d__s, but / a little bit of a fisherman's tale, don't you think? / glass half-full, isn't it? ... They could say / first time / seven / "Should we say 18 holes-in-one / nobody would believe that / believe / 11 holes-in-one / that's sort of crazy, but it is possible, / 18 ホール全部ホールインワンってのも嘘くさいから 11 ホールでホールインワンだったことにしよう。 / be ... more achievable / even 11 / crazy golf / windmills / obstacles / yeah, true ... / windmill / Yeah. ... Also, I can't see / great leader playing crazy golf. ... / 偉大なる指導者がクレイジー・ゴルフをプレーするのも想像しづらいが / What else have we got here? / found / story for you if you want. / Go on. / A deck chair from __ Titanic / They didn't have deck chairs on the Titanic / did / famous, uh / Yeah, I know. ... What is it? / this is / pointless / rear / deck / Anyway, they were __fully arranging / because this one / whole phrase / in your eyes / false, is it? It's, uh ... / what is the phrase / like / chocolate tea pot / pointless rearrangement / ... Yeah / like / pointless rearrangement / maybe / focusing on the wrong thing / Focusing on the wrong thing. OK. / they / pulled one of the deck chairs out of the Atlantic ... / ... Right. / still work? / The deck chair? / Yeah. / Well, yes __ it's not like a computer / コンピューターじゃないんだから。 / I know / don't work after a couple of years __ __ the garage / けどよ、俺のデッキチェアーなんか、物置に二年くらいしまっておいたら、使い物にならなくなったぞ。 / guess / have to ... maybe ... maybe ... um ... maybe / salt water preserves wood, does it? / ... Yeah, it does. / Does it? / That's why they __ __ old / ship and stuff / preservative ... salt water. / Are you sure, mate? / a__ as well / I'm not sure if they are the same thing, though, ... are they? Wood and anchovies / __ definitely preservative / Is it? For wood? / for anything, salt water, / I don't ... I don't think it is, is it? / because, when they go down to / genuinely think about / go down / ship wrecks and stuff / yeah / I don't think / look at the state / salt water / skin / It's tough, though / crocodile skin / we've got / two / no idea what we are talking about here / is / salt water / I know / salt water / preservative / but / a lot of things / it? / not like a prawn cracker, but ... / think / good for prawns, presumably. ... It's ... it's a funny old world we live in, innit? / Anyway ... / Anyway, what about this deck chair? / they / out / Atlantic / whatever it was / perfectly preserved in the ... / guy / sit / guy is still there with it / sunglasses __ __ __ __ / b__ bag. ... He's annoyed / obviously / bag / perfectly preserved in the ... / charge / more / deck chair / what what what what what are you talking about / what? / no / they pulled the deck chair out / Atlantic / I'm aware of that / now / go in an auction / Right. / Guess how much / auction / guess / gonna make. / for sale / auction / rather than / people / who's gonna buy that / 20 thousand dollars? / Nope. / ... More or less? / More. / 100 thousand dollars / yeah / 80 thousand pound / 80 thousand pound / bang on / I don't know what the exchange rate is / all this about / that / red herring / it? / yeah

Look at this, Lloyd. / Yeah. / Worcestershire / how do you say that? / W__ / Good work. / Like the sauce. / apparently / it's, uh ... / in the world? / Yeah. It's emerged in a poll as the hardest / English language for foreigners to pronounce. / Huh. Yeah. Well. / I have / problem / "regularly" and "particularly" / wrong now, am I? / everyone loughs when I say / so, I have say, "on a regular basis" / "regularly" って言うと発音がおかしいと言われるので、"on a regular basis" と言うようにしている。 / change / find hard, Lloyd? / I mean, how long have you got? / 挙げればきりがないけど ... / we've got / half past twelve / 今日は 12:30 までだ。時間はたっぷりある。 / how many words do you struggle with? / what did I have / problem with ... / get me wrong / we realize / he sounds like / carpet / __ or __ / ... What? / __ ... you know, "imp__" / yeah / from the French '__' / someone / someone told me off / I'm not surprised / supposed to do / supposed to be / you don't talk about __ and __ / well, I was ... I was a pioneer. / what did they tell you off for? / my pronunciation / and then / a few months later / Pronunciation? / using it my way / that's how we say it / yeah, but ... / You're not pioneering that. Everyone says __ / Yeah ... / gig / Were they French? / おまえをなじったのは、フランス人か？ / They might have been French. / you can't let the French push you off ... / that would be / French / Mate, you can't let French people push you off the b__ / your own first language / That's true. / should / You're French / pronounce it differently / I know what I'm doing / gave us __ word / well, it's like going / went / not / of / anglicize / if / nobody / だったら、「パーキング」を、フランス人の真似して「パキング」っていうのかよ？ ... そういうことじゃないな。「パーキングは」もともと英語だ。元がフランス語の単語をどうするかだったな。... 元はフランス語だろうが何だろうが、いったん英語になったら英語式で発音していいんだよ。フランス人に指図されてたまるか。/ でも、「ランデブー」を「レンデズボウズ」とは言わないでしょ？/ 当たり前だ。 / だからフランス語から借りてきた単語はフランス語に近い発音で言わないと。 / 余計なことは考えるな。英国人として英語に誇りを持て。 / Well, that's the thing. I / that's perfectly fine / listen / gig off / listen / with a ... with a lady / not / would / woman / we're allowed / anglicized, English way / but / with a lady last night / coffee / and then left / if you sa__ __ like that / raise your eyebrows / then / thumbs up / did / I'm saying / wouldn't say that, would you? / suddenly / wrong / you told me off / s__ b__ / fair enough / that is something you / anglicization / spaghetti Bolognaise, we say. Nobody says b__ / ... とはいえ、「ボロネーズ」を「ボログネーズ」と読むのは英語化しすぎだ。ちょっとは借用元の言語を尊重しようぜ。 / I do. Regularly. / I know / funnily enough / Did you? / well, it was fine, except, uh, my wife told me off / Why? / because ... I / couple / for an hour and a half / best mince I__ ever / about / relentlessly for an hour and a half / my wife / stop talking about that m__ / and walked out of the room / yesterday / you mean / did you? / Yeah. / we are very sophisticated. / I bit into one of the mussels / crunch / nothing worth / a tiny little crab / ... Get off. / Yup, ... like / smaller than my fingernail / a little miniture crab / back / no, they'__ already dead / sea / nature in action, innit? ... on the plate / circle of life / nature in action / circle / in it / you wouldn't go __ __ nature in action there.

Lloyd / fresh off the printer from / Stephen / here in Carmarthen. What / got / says, "Please can you please can you play anything / for husband's birthday tomorrow / his name is __ / tell you what / can / send / breakfast-related. / Yeah. / like an extra virgin olive oil / oh, no / there's a challenge, ladies and gentlemen ... oh, hang on / pyjamas / ... so, ladies and gentlemen, uh ... oh, hang on / there / here we go / bit / hang / feature ot lauch / the challenge is ... the feature is ... can we have Madonna / breakfast-related songs, please / who was that for? / do it / for her husband / what else have we got? / Well, B__ __ __ tweeted us / Oh yeah. / @rhodgilbertshow / you can tweet / massvely corrosive to different metals / then he says / as for wood, that's anyone's guess. / ... Thanks, Ben / thanks / for clearing that one up. ... That was, / based on a story / about a deck chair / eighty-odd grand / we were wondering whether ... does ... does sea water preserve or corrode ... if that's the right word / something / that / well, no, but / p__ / preserved / better preserved / like __ __ ... other ones are available ... you know / never / sea water / tin / splash that on / offense / I just think that it is / good pre ... / otherwise / enough / deck chair. Think about it / and ... and / brought / pretty good / for / years / are they or are they not? That's the question. ... "A Chinese man / when his 17 girlfriends came to see him in hospital / way / hospital / he had a car accident, right? Uh ... uh ... __ __ "17 women came to visit him, all / girlfriend / obviously / in the hospital / all turned up / "Who are you?" "I'm his girlfriend." "Who are you?" "I'm his girlfriend." ... / 17 times / you __ imagine / How do you maintain 17 different / one / I don't know. __ __ __ a good feature / どうすれば 17 人の異性との関係を維持できるんだろう？/ よし、それをお題にしよう。 / I was really worried when I heard he was in hospital / how / grapes / the biggest problem here, mate. Uh ... "One of them / worried / when I / more and more beautiful girls show up / I couldn't cry any more / strange, innit? Huh? / What a love rat.

tweets / the show / breakfast-themed / just to inform you / since / on this subject / (the sound / toaster makes) / my Wenglish-speaking toaster died / had to be replaced / it must be / new toaster / also says ..." there was a show in London / toaster was our special guest / toaster make / down / not easy. This one / universal language / my new toaster also says ... "T__ ... __ "/ that's pretty good. / it's not / metalic clanging in there / clanking, and ... onomato__ k's and __'s / got / get back into this / no no no / that's from / tweeted, / No Milk Today / I'm not sure / playlist / see / dig it out for you / forget that / I used to work / shop / I can't name it / ここで名前は公表できないが / but / too embarrassing? / regularly used to play music from / 40's, 50's and 60's / No Milk Today by / not good / your head, you ... you / all day / children singing / it's ... it's awful / nobody wants that. ... Do they? Nobody wants to hear kids singing. ... Now then / so, you / having that / it's poo-pooed. Uh ... talking / auctions / story with the deck chair / Titanic / we're still trying to find out / whether / salt water is good / or rots / come on, experts. / 8 10 12 / let us know. Uh ... you can email / .co.uk. ... Kevin Spacey's breath / up for sale / did you see that? / it's true / abs / auctions / a jar allegedly containing the breath of __ actor Kevin Spacey was put up for sale / saw / ask / what's happened to it ... because it was a while ago I pulled the story out, / was / look / jar / picture / a normal jar / jam jar / with a lid on / on / front / jam / October, 1987 / whatever you put on the front / I don't know / a bit there / you know / jam / 1997 / yeah, yeah, yeah, I know / probably the last time / make / my mother, probably, / made / around that time / and / vintage jam / Um ... but you know / label / sometimes a little g__ / sometimes / if / make / flag on it / little / on the lid / yeah, on the lid. Uh ... or __ little thing / call / jar-garter / let's call it / jam hat / let's call it / this is is Kevin Spacey's breath / says / on the label / jam / how much / did it go for? / have a look now / while ago in Canada / I wanna know / did you buy it? / person who bought it / seller claims / worked with the actor / the seller claims / Kevin S__ / American Beauty / good period / Ice Peak / kind of thing / big / movie / time / blow into the jar / as a gift for his mother. / I've never / photograph / people / my tatoo / kind of stuff / I__ never / as a gift / apart from / back / pulled over by the police / great / gift for the sergent / ファンへのプレゼントに息を吹き込んだことはないなあ。/ こないだ警官に呼び止められて息を吹き込んでいたじゃないか。 / it says, "his mother / huge / then she passed away, and now, uh, they've got this / breath / find the person who's, uh, bought it / secondly / good feature / whose breath would you buy?

several features on the go / Tea Bag Quiz coming up / Feature 2 is, Whose / and why / do you konw, recently / mean / mean /知ってる？最近 ... / 知ってるよ。「最近」とは近頃という意味だ。/ Quiz Break / apparently / please / they said, "Yes / can I just stop you there, Lloyd? / why / framed / not / signed / I framed it myself / not / anyone / Well, 'cause / see / signed / type / do you know / uh / shoe / me a photograph of himself / and a pen / good / with his name on it / all the tools / signed / do it yourself / he / asked / he knew / that's why / funny boy, Jason Mohammad / up to / why / signed / come on / usually / Quiz B__ / ... Oh, mate ... you need to get __ life / did / put up / wall / room / So, whose breath, Lloyd, would you have? And why? / photograph / did / honestly / even / proper photograph / official ones / printer at home / It was a postcard. / I'm not gonna send / he wasn't naked, was he? / No. / ones / couch, naked / nothing but a grin / imagine / him / So, Kevin Spacey's breath __ up for sale. I wanna know / how / end of that story / while / waiting / whose breath would you buy / that's the feature / What do you think? / associated with their breath / someone whose breath ... / famous as__tic / let me just get / playing cards / playing cards here / famous a__ / not many people / associated with their breath / Godzilla? / Serge Gainsbourg / Well, that ... see? That's a good one / quite right / can't / at one point / but / yeah / anglicized / known as over here / breath / stinking / leaking __ booze / you want it to stink, don't you? / breath / go, "I can't smell anything / fresh / need / some kind of pungent odor about it. / Yeah, exactly / good / S__ M__'s breath / oh, yeah / you get high on that. / not condoning it, obviously / bit / lid off that / be careful / stand back, everyone / near an open flame / 火の近くで開けないでください / don't drive / after / それを嗅いだあとは車の運転はひかえてください / either / same / we / powerful breath / like / whose / why / the other feature / got / other / so / listeners / and why / have you bought / how / why / salt / does / wood / No. / looking for breakfast-related songs / M__ / for somebody who texted in / her husband / birthday / breakfast-related / so far, this is my favorite ... What about / yourself / we've also got, uh, My S__ girl / David / PaPa Don't Poach / Simon __. ... Or, / this / how / Four Minutes / as long as / boiled / over-done boiled egg / Huh ... / no, it's not ... no, it's not, Lloyd / breakfast / Material G__ by M__ / good / favorite / Espresso ... Espresso Yourself / what / from / in Carmarthen / quite like that / good song / not / good / at the moment, winning, I think, is / Yourself (exprss yourself)

back / newspapers / this / on Thursday / Daily Express / you see / thrown / that story / doorman / refused to admit him / Andrew / for a pint / yeah / vicar / wine bar / thrown out / did he / dog collar / picture of him, he has. / because / alllowed to drink if you / in uniform ... like ... like ... / policeman / 牧師は牧師服を着ているときはお酒を飲んじゃだめじゃないの？　警官が制服でお酒を飲んじゃいけないのと同じで。 / same as / is / well / vicars / I mean, that ... I don't ... I don't know / much / less / sea / Vicar Quiz / let's have / Vicar Quiz / what / put / 60 / tense / carry on. / Um ... they / big / church buy them / what / buzzzz. Correct. That's two. / really / much else about / do you want / 30 seconds / if you want / Vicar Quiz / they, uh ... they organize, uh, harvest festivals / food and stuff / given to / local people / Buzzz. Three. / Um ... they aren't Catholic. / ... Four. ... Go on / 10 / 15 seconds left / never / what / I / have to say ten things / Vicar Quiz / you need / it doesn't work, does it? / if you had spent less time analyzing Vicar Quiz / logistics / thinking about vicars / get / obvious ones / for wearing __s / ... したら追い出される、という、最もはっきりとした特徴をはずしたじゃないか

Now then, / just time / tea / clock / Ready? / Yup / put / on the clock / in front of me / 15 surprising things that you could do with __ teabag / I'll give you / come / up / as many as you / will / how many / once / Eggsy / on the leader board / tea / so far / two / out of 15 / Lloyd / Yes. / ... OK. ... Go. / eye-patch / pirate / spare / no / give / Um ... compost ingredient. / Yes. Absolutely right / used teabags / Uh ... bra-padding/nipple guard / nipple guard ... no. / Um ... nicotine patch for someone addicted / uh ... no. / ineffective gum shield / no. / Hamster bedding / ... No. / F__ for mice / no / pyramid-shaped / scaled model / ... No. / odor-eaters / yes / absolutely. Yeah. / Two. I've got two. / That's it. Your time's up / got / compost / tear open used tea bags and dig into / garden / compost / as nitrogen-rich / compost, balancing the carbon-rich material / absolutely right there / one / what was your second one / odor-eater / stop your feet from smelling / Eggsy got it, too / as / warm water / to neutralize foot odors / and, I'm sure / n__ skin / well done / on the leader board, you've joined Eggsy.

If you enjoyed that, why don't you listen to the whole show? / live on Saturday mornings / BBC Radio Wales, 11 till 1.

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Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits エピソード・リスト